The Dragon Permit
Format: Fantasy bureaucracy comedy
Approx. length: 1-3 minutes
Original audition scene

INT. ROYAL LICENSING OFFICE - DAY

A queue of villagers. BRIN, muddy and singed, faces CLERK ESME.

ESME
Name?

BRIN
Brin of Hollowmere.

ESME
Purpose of visit?

BRIN
Dragon.

ESME
Acquisition, complaint, injury, or noise?

BRIN
It landed on my cowshed.

ESME ticks a box.

ESME
Structural complaint. Was the dragon registered?

BRIN
It didn’t show me papers.

ESME
Colour?

BRIN
Green. No, bronze. It was on fire at the edges.

ESME
Fire does affect perception.

BRIN
It ate my roof.

ESME
Roofs are handled by Buildings. This office handles dragons.

BRIN
The dragon was attached to the roof at the time.

ESME considers this.

ESME
Shared jurisdiction.

BRIN
Can someone come and move it?

ESME
Have you completed form D-17?

BRIN
My kitchen is smoke.

ESME
That is not a form.

BRIN leans in.

BRIN
Madam, I have not slept, my goat is bald from fright, and the dragon is currently wearing my weather vane as jewellery.

ESME pauses, then lowers her voice.

ESME
Back door. Ask for Mirelle. Tell her it’s “decorative nesting.” She likes loopholes.

BRIN
Thank you.

ESME
And next time, photograph the dragon.

BRIN
Next time?
